Funny Business Friday. Weekending business jokes!

Business Joke 1

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” The man below says: “Yes, you re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.” “You must work in Technical Support,” says the balloonist. “I do,” replies the man. “How did you know?” “Well” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but completely useless.” The man below says: “You must be in management.” “I am,” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?” “Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You re still in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

Business Joke 2

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the director asked. “When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.” “Well,” the young man replied, “in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.”

Business Joke 3

A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it said “Rest in Peace”. The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was ,the florist said. “Sir, I m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, “Congratulations on your new location.”

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Do you have a friend who also has a Positively Flint attitude? Tell them about us. We don’t “search” for friends, we just do what we do, and Positively Flint friends join us!  https://www.facebook.com/positively.flint

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Can Making Fun of Yourself, be Good for Business?

Our society does find self-deprecating humor endearing, we enjoy when others reveal their life failures, especially if it’s relatable to our own. It might even be good for us to laugh at ourselves once in a while! Yet, can making fun of your Business have benefits?

We’re thinking that to a limited extent, it can. Sure, you don’t normally want to make fun of your employees, product or services. But then again, you just might want to!

Try this one out, for a restaurant: “We have the slowest service in town!” WITH THE TAG LINE: “That’s because we make each order individually with loving care!” This is a fun way to explain to your customers that you care about the food you serve and teaches them that excellent food takes time. Course, it could also be used to cover-up your poor service management! LOL

Or

How about this one for a Rock Band: “Don’t come out to hear us tonight!” WITH THE TAG LINE: “Cuz we turn the volume up way to LOUD!” This might really discourage some attendees, but will energies others. Most likely, those “energetic” ones, knowing what to expect, are the ones that will make a special effort to come out, enjoy your show, and give you the best reviews!

Now, what would it be like if a City used self-deprecating humor about itself? Let’s say a City like the one I live in, Flint, Michigan. Most all of you have heard of my city of Flint; “Murder capital of the country.” “But, we are hoping to get the world ranking soon!” “The most dangerous city in the country, flax vest await you at our border!”” When we say, built Flint Tough, we’re not talking about the cars!” “All our sports teams are named the “Flames,” cause they really are on FIRE!” “Come to Flint, if you’re looking for a job! Everyone else is too!”

Okay, okay, I could go on and on, and although this kind of humor does point a negative spotlight on my city, could it also be used to promote the City?

Could negative promotion create positive results? This might be a dangerous idea in promoting a city, especial, one that has been working so hard to destroy its own negative self-image.

Let’s think about it. Could promoting our bad boy image to the country be used as cover while we actually improve our city?!  Could someday, the very people that laughed at our city actually begin to see that it is becoming a safe, honorable place to live?

Could exploiting our negative image allow us to laugh all the way to the bank? Could marketing our City’s “toughness”, be made profitable? Sad to say, I believe it could. Sad, because our country thrives on the “bad boy” image, the western “shot’em up” mentality, gansta want-ta-be’s, and we could use that craze to make a profit!

I already regret writing this! Some of you will believe I’ve hit on a brilliant idea and actually go about implementing it. This is not what I want my City’s image to be. Not even for a PROFIT! NOT even if it cured our un-employment, not even if it put public services back on our streets.

Sometime the right way of doing things is the toughest way. “WE ARE FLINT, AND WE ARE DANGEROUS!”

Check out some positively dangerous Flint sites!

Facebook:

               “Positively Flint” “Bring Two to Flint” “Flint Home Buying”

Websites:

               “Carriage Town Media” “Damascus Road Church, Flint”

Blogs:

               “Funny Business” “The Way You Should Live”

Flint Photos:

               “Fine Art American/Positively Flint Gallery” Marketplace on Facebook “Positively    

                 Michigan”

Learn more marketing ideas from:
ctmediaflint@gmail.com

Carriage Town Media Social Media Management Starting @ $50.00 per Month. We don't control your site, we just improve it! We can post on all your social media sites! Let us post the information that your customers/friends need to know! Timely and Correctly! This months special: We can TOTALLY run your sites! $150.00 per month! LEARN MORE, CLICK HERE! . https://sites.google.com/site/carragetownmedia/ Email: ctmediaflint@gmail.com

Funny Business Friday. Weekend business jokes!

The Ten Commandments Of Employment

1. If it rings, put it on hold.
2. If it clunks, call the repairman.
3. If it whistles, ignore it.
4. If it's a friend, stop work and chat.
5. If it's the boss, look busy.
6. If it talks, take notes.
7. If it's handwritten, type it.
8. if it's typed, copy it.
9. If it's copied, file it.
10. If it's Friday, forget it!

Work vs Prison
IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON... you get three meals a day.
AT WORK... you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON... you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK... you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK... you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK... you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON... all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
AT WORK... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK... you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON... you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK... they are called managers.

So why is it, again, that we work?

This is the Friday Funnies from Funny Business, sponsored by

Sponsored by: Teton Business Solutions. If your company needs staffing, Teton is the business you should turn to for you all your staffing needs. With our leadership having over 35 years of experience we know that Teton can meet your company expectations. Call us: (810) 767-5111

NO JOKE!

100% Funny Business Friday

What makes life 100%? 

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants more than 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then:

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

but:

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

and:
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far this will take you...

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%

Think about it... and have a nice day at work... :) 

Carriage Town Media Social Media Management Starting @ $50.00 per Month. We don't control your site, we just improve it! We can post on all your social media sites! Let us post the information that your customers/friends need to know! Timely and Correctly! This months special: We can TOTALLY run your sites! $150.00 per month! LEARN MORE, CLICK HERE! . https://sites.google.com/site/carragetownmedia/ Email: ctmediaflint@gmail.com

Funny Business Friday. Weekend business jokes!

A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.

A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.

A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.

A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead.

A bird in the hand is dead.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. - Milton Berle

A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. - Abba Eban

A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk. - Franklin D. Roosevelt

A consultant is an ordinary person a long way from home.

A coup that is known in advance is a coup that does not take place.

A couple of months in the lab can often save a couple of hours in the library.

A crisis is when you cannot say "let's just forget the whole thing."


Carriage Town Media Social Media Management. We don't control your site, we just improve it! We can post on all your social media sites! Let us post the information that your customers/friends need to know! Timely and Correctly! This months special: We can TOTALLY run your sites! $150.00 per month! LEARN MORE, CLICK HERE! . https://sites.google.com/site/carragetownmedia/ Email: ctmediaflint@gmail.com

What's Your Business Is Saying.

Your face shows us what your Business is saying!

RIDDLE: “It costs nothing, but creates much. It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

Smile—Everyone Is Watching!

Think back to all the miserable faces you see on the way to school or work each day. These hollow stares and “sour-puss” faces reflect dissatisfaction and unhappiness, almost as if they were headed to a torture chamber! These expressions reflect a negative and rebellious attitude, and many folks are trapped in this mentality!

Yet, when smiled at, these same people will most often smile in return.

Check out the following facts about smiling:

72% of people think of those who smile frequently as being more confident and successful.

86% of people say that they are more likely to strike up conversations with strangers if they are smiling.

Bosses are 12% more likely to promote people who smile a lot.

Research shows that 65% of communication is non-verbal (many claim an even higher percentage).

The effects of a smile are so powerful that even a smile on the telephone produces positive results.

When someone comes into a room, people are automatically drawn to their face, and a smile provides a warm greeting.

Research shows that when two people in conversation use the same kind of body movements and gestures (such as smiling), they will experience greater empathy for each other, which they may not even consciously notice.

The Value of a Smile: Increased sales!!!

Does the uniform your employees wear include a smile?

We all have walked into a business only to have the person working the counter stare at us with the “What the heck do you want?” look.

It doesn’t make you comfortable and deep inside it makes you just want to get what you came for and get out.

I once moved to a city just because every 7-11 store (I’m a Slurpee junkie) I went into all had sales folks that smiled at me. Really, no kidding! I had been living in Miami and was feeling bad about how everyone there seemed to be so grouchy. The friendly service I found made me believe that everyone in that town was happy. And by god they were (for the most part)!

So what do your employees’ faces say to your customers?

Do you want to make increase sales, add on’s and impulse buys? Do you want customers returning to your business? Do you want the people that come into your business talk to their friends about how nice your place is?

Teach your employees to smile!

Tip number one:

Smile at your employees and they’ll smile too.

Teach your employee the importance of the “first impression”.

Have a short training time with your employees about appearance and its effect on customers.

OR

See below:

If you’re looking to re-energize your Staff, inspire your Marketing Department or to encourage your Board to think “Out of the Box”, “The Stephen James Comedy Troupe Corporate Team Building” will work together with you in delivering the message you want to give! Team Building will always be a top priority for today's organizations. Building effective teamwork through interactive "Improv games" is one of “The Stephen James Comedy Troupe” (Corporate Team Training) greatest capabilities! And we make it so much FUN!
CONTACT US AT:Email: stephenjamescomedy@gmail.com

Negative thinking, negative energy, negative returns.

No, Nay, never, No, nay never no more. Will I play the wild rover, No, Nay, never, no more ...Irish Folk song

Negative thinking stops the flow:

I’ve worked as a professional improvisational comic and improv instructor for many years and I have personally seen many instances relating to the stories of Malcolm Gladwell, from his book “Blink”. He uses as an analogy that I can relates to in how negative words can stop the flow towards a goal. He tells about how while he was sitting in on a improv class, he watched first hand how the word “no” can stop the flow of a scene and how the that stoppage of flow was relatable to our everyday lives. In his story he describes a group improvising a scene that went something like this.

A: I’m having trouble with my leg.
B: I’m afraid I’ll have to amputate.
A: You can’t do that, doctor.
B: Why not?
A: Because I’m rather attached to it.
B: Come on, man.
A: I’ve got this growth on my arm too, Doctor.

The trouble with the scene was that by using a negative “You can’t do that, Doctor.” it gave his partner no were to go. It stopped the flow. The B player had nothing to build on, nothing to work with in creating a new thought. One of the very first things I teach my students is to “Never say NO! Never deny, always be accepting and always be building.”

If the player hadn’t used the stopping word “Can’t” the scene may have moved along and flowed something like this:

A: I’m having trouble with my leg.
B: I’m afraid I’ll have to amputate.
A: But it’s the one you amputated last week.
B: So you’re having problems with your wooden leg?
A: Yes, it’s hurts.
B: Let me take a look. Sure enough you have termites.
A: Termites! Is that bad.
B: It’s not good.
A: Can you fix it?
B: Sure, comeback on Wednesday, on Wednesdays I do wood work!

See how words can stop the thinking flow in others as well as ourselves? Did you see how using open words, allowed his partner to open his mind to the flow of creating?

How to stop a negative: By using a double negative against it? NO, NEVER!

I can hear what you are thinking right now. Your thinking: “I want to stop my negative thoughts so I will just say no to negative thinking!” Oops, using a negative to fight a negative is not going to work. But replacing a negative with a positive will. Don’t worry about the math, that’s for someone else to figure out. In removing negatives from our vocabulary and our thinking, you will be leaving a void that will have to be refilled with something. So we need to fill that void with something else. That something else is positive speaking and positive thinking.

Today’s Assignment: You are going to be conscious of how many times you use negative words. Right now, just say to yourself that this is what you’re going to do today. “I am going to be conscious of how many times the words no, nay, never, no more, are used in my vocabulary and thoughts”. (Okay, so you won’t use the word "nay" too much).

This doesn’t mean you can’t say the word no. Later we will even discuss when it is imperative to say no. Common sense will dictate your use of the word, but watch how many times you use the negative form of the verb. Then try to think about how you could have restated or to have inverted the sentence to a positive.

Example: “No Johnny you can’t do that.” USE: “Johnny instead of doing that, how about you doing this.
Example: “I can’t get this work done on time.” USE: “I can get this work done on time, but let’s take a moment to figure out how.”
Example: “I don’t have the money to fix this” USE: “So I need how much? Okay let’s find the money”
Example: I will not drink (Insert anything you don’t want to do) any more.” USE an alterative statement, “I am going to start “exercising” (Insert what you do want to do) more.”

Remember words are incredibly powerful. The uses of words affect our thought process and our bodies. The words you use can create a bad day or a fantastic, fulfilling, abundant day.

So go out and have a fantastic day! Remember; we're all in this together!

P.S. The Irish Folk song “No, Nay, never, No, nay never no more.” was written by a Irishman that was about to be married. He used the negative words as a means to contemplate and keep his marital vows, which actually worked against him, as the negative thinking turned into reality. Not the positive outcome he imagined. He went on to later to pen a song for Brittney Spears named: “Opps, I did it again”

P.S.S Just kidding! Stephen James

Stephen James Comedy Improv & Human Resource Training Consultant Flint, Michigan


If you’re looking to re-energize your Sales Force, inspire your Marketing Department or to encourage your Board to think “Out of the Box”, “The Stephen James Comedy Troupe Corporate Team Building” will work together with you in delivering the message you want to give! Team Building will always be a top priority for today's organizations. Building effective teamwork through leading edge corporate and organizational team building programs is one of “The Stephen James Comedy Troupe” (Corporate Team Training) greatest capabilities! And we make it so much FUN! CONTACT US AT: Email: stephenjamescomedy@gmail.com Phone: 810-618-7517 Website: http://sites.google.com/site/thestephenjamescomedytroupe


Funny Business is a humorous look at some serious issues your business or organizations have to address. http://funnybusinessbystephenjames.blogspot.com

What made the Acme Company so great? It had no limitations imposed onto itself!

Why do you think that Wile E. Coyote always purchased his Road Runner killing equipment from the Acme Company? It’s because they had anything he could image available for him. Be it rocket propelled roller skates, humongous sling shots or 500 pound sticks of dynamite, Acme had it all.

Course you might be thinking, but they were an imaginary company and their stock was only limited to the imagination of the cartoon writer, that’s not reality! Or is it? Just because your company doesn’t make the widgets or creates the services to be the “End all, be all” company, doesn’t mean you can’t have alliances with others that do have the products or services you don’t vendor. (Didn’t you just love my use of triple negatives in the last sentence? It’s kind of like attempting the dreaded and ever dangerous “Triple Take” during a comedy skit!)

Take for example Teton Business Solutions, they’ve start a new alliance program with their customers and venders. By creating this alliance Teton now has at its fingertips a huge assortment of assets to draw from and the companies they’re aligned with have all the resources Teton has to offer at theirs.

How does it work? The Program as intended will benefit the following areas of Joint Venture Business:
1) Improved Channel Management Knowledge
2) Resource Availability within Alliances
3) Promotion of Products and Services
4) Indirect Operational Cost Saving Opportunity

In layman’s terms: you get a group of trusted businesses within your area (But could be national) and team up to find ways to help each other succeed. Yes! That’s right! Helping others succeed! Unheard of in business isn’t it. But the benefits are shared among the group. Each time someone succeeds it means that each member of the alliance also inherits a greater chance to profit. As each of you extends into larger territory you share that information with others of the group. Each then has the opportunity to reach into the new possibilities.

Pie in the sky you say?! Let me tell you how my company did this.

After learning about Strategic Alliances from Teton Business Solutions and aligning ourselves with Teton, we’ve implemented our own alliance that now is also loosely aligned with Teton (Since I am already aligned with Teton, my new alliance has opportunities to work with Teton).

We’ve brought together a team of entertainers and promoters to each of our mutual benefit. I get more booking because the promoters and I are working together to get us into more clubs and then we the entertainers funnel our advertising dollar from the club owners to our alliance promoters, that then super promote our gigs so we get huge crowds thereby, making clubs owner more willing to give me bigger gigs. Our alliance promoters then get more “bang” for the buck with the advertisers by buying bigger ads at discounted rates and a bigger profit margin from the percentage they get for promoting the gig. It’s a win, win situation for all of us.

To learn more about creating alliances and how you can align yourself with a great team of Human Resource managers call, write or go to the Teton Business Solutions website at: http://www.tetonbusinesssolutions.com/

Remember; we’re all in this together.

Stephen James Comedy Improv & Human Resource Training Consultant
Flint, Michigan

If you’re looking to re-energize your Sales Force, inspire your Marketing Department or to encourage your Board to think “Out of the Box”, “The Stephen James Comedy Troupe Corporate Team Building” will work together with you in delivering the message you want to give! Team Building will always be a top priority for today's organizations. Building effective teamwork through leading edge corporate and organizational team building programs is one of “The Stephen James Comedy Troupe” (Corporate Team Training) greatest capabilities! And we make it so much FUN! CONTACT US AT:
Email: stephenjamescomedy@gmail.com
Phone: 810-618-7517
Website: http://sites.google.com/site/thestephenjamescomedytroupe

Funny Business is a humorous look at some serious issues your business or organizations have to address. http://funnybusinessbystephenjames.blogspot.com

Short sales, short jokes and staving off foreclosure.

If you or anyone you know is in danger of foreclosure on their home, you need to read about “Short Sales” and pass it on!

Short Jokes:

Recent Mergers in the news:
Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers is now “Fairwell Honeychild”

Knott's Berry Farm and National Organization of Women are now “Knott NOW!”

Xerox and Wurlitzer - no name yet, but they're going to make reproductive organs.

What the heck is a Short Sale?

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A “Short Sale” is a sale of real estate in which the sale proceeds fall short of the balance owed on the property's loan.[1] It often occurs when a borrower cannot pay the mortgage loan on their property, but the lender decides that selling the property at a moderate loss is better than pressing the borrower. Both parties consent to the short sale process, because it allows them to avoid foreclosure, which involves hefty fees for the bank and poorer credit report outcomes for the borrowers. This agreement, however, does not necessarily release the borrower from the obligation to pay the remaining balance of the loan, known as the deficiency.[2]

Plus you need to know that if the wind is blowing out to left field at Fenway Park; you’ll then need to learn the formula for rocket pulsation in escaping earth’s gravity after which you need to create a “What the heck are we going to do now!” account and declare bankruptcy!

Okay, so I made up that last part. It was just and illustration showing the complexity of “Short Sales” in real estate. My best advice for staving off home foreclosure: FIND SOMEONE THAT KNOWS THIS STUFF!

After doing my research, I can now strongly recommend that you check out the folks at Teton Business Solution. They have years of experience in “Short Sales”, the even teach real estate brokers and bankers how to best do it.

If the idea of Short Sales seems as confusing as the directions for an Ikea built-a- table and chair, then you need to speak with folks that understand this stuff. It might not be rocket science, but then again, maybe it is.

P.S. The word “Staving” means to brace against something, to stop it from breaking. It’s an old word used mostly in boat building. It’s the staves or blanks that brace the keel of a ship or boat, keeping it strong against the pressure of the water pushing in from the outside. If you want to keep the pressure of foreclosure from drowning you in debt, stave it off with the help of Teton Business Solutions.

P.S.S. Click on the website of Teton Business Solutions and learn how you can stave off home foreclosure.

Stephen James Comedy Improv & Human Resource Training Consultant Flint, Michigan.
If you’re looking to re-energize your Sales Force, inspire your Marketing Department or to encourage your Board to think “Out of the Box”, “The Stephen James Comedy Troupe Corporate Team Building” will work together with you in delivering the message you want to give! Team Building will always be a top priority for today's organizations. Building effective teamwork through leading edge corporate and organizational team building programs is one of “The Stephen James Comedy Troupe” (Corporate Team Training) greatest capabilities! And we make it so much FUN! CONTACT US AT: Email: stephenjamescomedy@gmail.com Phone: 810-618-7517 Website: http://sites.google.com/site/thestephenjamescomedytroupe/

Funny Business is a humorous look at some serious issues your business or organizations have to address. http://funnybusinessbystephenjames.blogspot.com/

Business jokes of the day 2.23.10

Don't bite the hand that has your paycheck in it.

Don't blame me; nobody asked my opinion.

Don't do today that which can be put off till tomorrow.

Don't force it, get a bigger hammer.

Don't get lost in the shuffle, shuffle along with the lost.

Don't lend people money...it gives them amnesia.

Don't let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash. - Bo Diddley

Don't look back, something may be gaining on you.

Don't make your doctor your heir.

Don't mess with Mrs. Murphy!

Don't permit yourself to get between a dog and a lamppost.

Stephen James Comedy Improv & Human Resource Training Consultant



Flint, Michigan


If you’re looking to re-energize your Sales Force, inspire your Marketing Department or to encourage your Board to think “Out of the Box”, “The Stephen James Comedy Troupe Corporate Team Building” will work together with you in delivering the message you want to give! Team Building will always be a top priority for today's organizations. Building effective teamwork through leading edge corporate and organizational team building programs is one of “The Stephen James Comedy Troupe” (Corporate Team Training) greatest capabilities! And we make it so much FUN! CONTACT US AT: Email: stephenjamescomedy@gmail.com Phone: 810-618-7517 Website: http://sites.google.com/site/thestephenjamescomedytroupe/

Funny Business is a humorous look at some serious issues your business or organizations have to address. http://funnybusinessbystephenjames.blogspot.com/

Business Jokes of the day! 2.12.10

Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.
Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Business Jokes of the day!

All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.

All work and no play, will make you a manager.

Almost everything in life is easier to get into than to get out of.

Always hire a rich attorney.

Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.

Always listen to experts. They'll tell what can't be done and why. Then do it.

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn!

Always try to stop talking before people stop listening.

Am I good at delegating? You Bet! I always find someone to blame!

Ambiguity is invariant.

A Confidence Scheme.

By Stephen James

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” William Shakespeare

Some may think that confidence is the opposite of humility. People sometimes even equate confidence with arrogance. That is a mistake. Rather than being the opposite of confidence, we need to understand that humility is an entirely separate issue.

The truly confident person is one that can fully embrace and celebrate their strengths and talents, and yet never forgets their humanity. They can admit mistakes and failings and yet never feel like a failure. It’s true, your failures do make you stronger. Nothing you endeavor in is ever worthless. You always walk away with more knowledge, being more prepared to attempt and succeed in the next endeavourer.

A person must live in gratitude for the abilities they have been given and never fail to see the giftedness in others. Never be jealous of others talents but willing to learn from what other’s talents can teach us. Understanding that within ourselves we too have a inner genius that must be in continuous development. We must always be learning, always trying and never, never give up. These elements make up true and lasting confidence.

Living with confidence because you’re a genius!
You’ve heard it said “Necessity is the mother of invention” Well I say “Creativity is the mother of invention”. I define genius as finding your very own inner creative menes. That’s right, menes, our bodies are built with genes, that is what makes each of us as physical individuals. Our menes are the parts that make up our personality. Just as each of us have physical genius: or physical abilities such as balance, flexibility, reflexes, strength, movement, all equaling our physical capabilities. Our menes are the parts that make up our personal genius that we are mentaly capable of.

It’s not just about your tested mental IQ. To find the sum of your menes or genius takes the wiliness to commit to the search of your genius, testing and looking for its limits and abilities just as we do with our bodies. It doesn’t just come to you like a bolt of lighting, sure some find their physical genius early like the ability to play pro baseball while others get to publicly display their mental genius like the famous genius of Einstein or Leonardo. Just because you’ve not been on television or someone hasn’t written a book about you does not mean you’re not a genius! Most genius is un-published! It can be found in the everyday of living. It’s found in the little bits of brilliance of our daily living and it can be developed into adding value to everyone else’s daily living! There is no test created for your personal genius. You have to write it yourself!

Everyone has their own inner genius for which they are superior at doing. We all have a genius within our own nitch. Think about this! If you where stranded on a desert island and living in a cave and one night you heard something rustling around in the bushes outside. Who would you really want to be there in the cave with you? Einstein!? What would he do? Confuse the creature with his theory of gravity. No! you want someone with the genius of bravery or the genius of survival or the genius of mimicking the scary sounds of a shell being racked into a sawed off shotgun.

You should be committed! It all starts in the doing. One step at a time, one foot before the other. Committed to the long walk.

Here are the first steps! Takes approximately 20 minutes.

1) If you liked what you have read here or want to learn more, commit to a day and time for continuing to stopping by this site and reading what’s going on.

2) Think about 10 things you like to do. Count them out on your fingers.

3) Write a personal resume. Not a work resume but a resume of your life. Write down the things that you like to do: fishing, reading books, watching movies, painting, organizing your sock drawer, talking to people. List everything you like to do.

4) List the education you have: classes that you liked taking, books you have read, life experiences, places that you have traveled to, things that people have taught you.

5) List jobs that you have done, not just paying jobs: Pick out the parts of the job you liked best or feel you did best at.

6) When you’re finished just set it aside for the night. The next day look for the pattern of things that you really like doing or felt good doing. Be proud in seeing the things you like to do and look how those are the things you always seem to see though to completion.

7) On a big piece of paper draw a large inverted triangle: with the point at the bottom, the widest area at the top. Write out words or short sentences representing the thing you like to do or are good at within the triangle.

8) Now start thinking about the list and watch as you melt the overall list into just a couple of short sentences that can be written underneath the point at the bottom of the triangle. Those sentences are what you should be doing. Don’t be inhibited with coming to a conclusion that it doesn’t look to be rational. Don’t look at “what you should be doing” as needing to be practical. Don’t see the outcome as not having any monetary reward. Just look at it for what it is.

9) Next time we get together we will discuss how to make what you like to do into a money making reality.

10) I acknowledge I do not have the genius of grammar, spelling or in the written word but I am better at it than I used to be and will be better at it as I continue to work this menes’ muscle. Thanks for your genius of understanding my inadequacies.

Yours, Stephen James