Today being Tuesday, I awoke to prepare for my weekly 8a.m. meeting with the guys at one of the local coffee beaneries.
It’s been our routine over the last year for a group of my neighbors, local businessmen and community leaders to sit together and discuss the latest news and happenings. This might best be called “Guy Gossip”.
This morning I did my normal washing up, showering, shaving, teeth brushing and vitamin consumption, when something went terribly wrong. My garlic pills (Whose benefits real or imagined, I’ve bought’en into) were not the capsule types I regularly buy. It turns out this pill form leaves a slight after-tastes of garlic and a slight odor to the breath! Yeee. I was hopeful that a breath mint and coffee would cover my “after Italian diner breath”. It didn’t.
When I arrived, some of the fellows were already seated, sipping on their coffees and discussing the Genesee Tower fiasco. If you’re not familiar with this situation, in short, our local City government has been saddled for a payment, mandated through the State Courts, of 8.4 million dollars to it’s property owners, who originally paid fifty thousand dollars for the building a couple of years ago.
It seems this lively discussion all started when one of the guys brought up how he’s going to receive an eleven hundred dollar tax bill as his part in covering this community debt. Lots of information and misinformation was analyzed among us, blame was laid at the feet of the departed city officials, discussion of the greed of the owners. Ingenious, but impossible ways of rectifying the circumstances were painfully picked apart, heads wagged side to side or up and down displaying agreement or displeasure with each suggestion, all climaxing into the total silent’s of ….”The Befuddled”.
It was in this quiet moment of group reflection, that I inadvertently let loose an open mouth sigh of disgust. Each face around the table, twisted from meditative pondering to knit browed bewilderment, trying to place the source of this new, odious odor.
“That stinks!” one of the guys blurted out.
Sensing an opportunity to cover my breathy blunder, I piped in, “That’s it! We’ll turn the place into a private men’s club, with its own bowling alley and a restaurant catering only the smelliest of fatty foods, a place where we can smoke cigars, wear worn out bathrobes, a place where the occasional fart or stinky breath will go unnoticed!”
With that, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to be the first to announce the newly formed L.L.C . “The Big Lebowski Men’s Group” dedicated to the construction of a new men’s club inside the Genesee Tower, and the construction within of the new “Men Only” restaurant and lounge named….. “The Dude”
Wait a minute! When you think about it, it was the same kind of group of morning coffee “Guy Gossip” that started this whole mess in the first place!
One stink’en idea after another.
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