Weekend Funny Business: Hello boss? I can't come to work today...

If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work.
The voices in my head told me to clean all my guns today.

When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac.
I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source on exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.


Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.


I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous
boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

_________________________________________________________________

All Is Fair In Business

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own
opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST DEALS.'

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and
announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST PRICES.'

The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign
of all over his own shop. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'


The Requirements Of This Job 

Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."

Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

Your website is only a billboard!

Your website is only a billboard!

You can have the most beautiful website in the world, and without traffic, it might as well be a billboard in the middle of a cornfield in Iowa. Just ask all those big corporations who paid millions to have their beautiful flash sites built, and forgot to hire a SEO. You launched your site, and now you need traffic, or it’s been there for a long time, and you need MORE traffic and exposure. You listened to the search engines, and created great content! (after all, content is king!) But you still don’t seem to have much traction, and only your Aunt Frita, Uncle Merv, and 6 other people are visiting your site every day.

Carriage Town Media Social Media Management Starting @ $50.00 per Month *Nonprofits $40.00 We don't control your site, we just improve it! We can post on all your social media sites! Let us post information that your customers/friends need to know! Timely and Correctly! This months special: We can TOTALLY run your sites! LEARN MORE, CLICK HERE! $150.00 per month. https://sites.google.com/site/carragetownmedia/ 


If you’re looking to re-energize your Staff, inspire your Marketing Department or to encourage your Board to think “Out of the Box”, “The Stephen James Comedy Troupe Corporate Team Building” will work together with you in delivering the message you want to give! Team Building will always be a top priority for today's organizations. Building effective teamwork through interactive "Improv games" is one of “The Stephen James Comedy Troupe” (Corporate Team Training) greatest capabilities! And we make it so much FUN! CONTACT US AT:Email: stephenjamescomedy@gmail.com

Running a Business Can Kill You!

You need a vacation when….

1) You find yourself thinking of reasons why you need a vacation.

2) You start thinking of early death from job stress as a comfort.

3) You start hallucinating tropical fish in the company water cooler.

Norman Vincent Peale tells the story of a man that told his physician that work was feeling like a wave covering over and drowning him. He said that every night he fills his briefcase full of work to do at home. When the physician asked “Why” the man replied “I have to get it done.” He fumed, “I am the only one who can do it!” “Everything depends upon me!”

“If I write you a prescription, will you follow it?” Asked the doctor.

Thinking it was some kind of medication the man said “Yes.”

The doctor wrote out these words on a piece of paper. “Take one hour a day off to go for a walk. Take one day off a week and use half the day in a cemetery.”

Astonished the patient demanded, “Why should I spend a half day in a cemetery?”

“Because” answered the doctor, “I want you to wonder around and look at the gravestones of men who are there permanently. Meditate on the fact that many of them are there because they thought like you do, that the world rested on their shoulders. Sit there and think about how the world will go on without you just as it’s done without them.

Wooow! Pretty sobering thought, hu!

Maybe you can relate to this business man. Running a business can KILL you! Overworked, under-appreciated, no time for yourself or family. STOP! Get help!

There’s lots of ways to cut your work load: You can delegate the work load. But then again you might not have staff talented or experienced enough to do what’s needed.

You could spend lots of time and money hiring new in-house people to do your staff training or you could deligate it and have a little laugh vacation too!

Here is some help:

If you’re looking to re-energize your Staff, inspire your Marketing Department or to encourage your Board to think “Out of the Box”, “The Stephen James Comedy Troupe Corporate Team Building” will work together with you in delivering the message you want to give! Team Building will always be a top priority for today's organizations. Building effective teamwork through interactive "Improv games" is one of “The Stephen James Comedy Troupe” (Corporate Team Training) greatest capabilities! And we make it so much FUN! CONTACT US AT:Email: stephenjamescomedy@gmail.com

Getting to know your city....Flint Mich.

Focus on Flint: The Flint Downtown Small Business Association

The DSBA is a flexible, fluid responsive and action oriented group of downtown supporters dedicated to the enhancement of business, entertainment and cultural opportunities in the downtown Business District by interfacing with existing political, community and neighborhood organizations / resources.

The Flint DSBA Mission

This page is for links to other websites who are involved with Downtown Flint in some capacity. If you are interested in posting a link, please contact the DSBA.We also encourage you to offer the DSBA a return link on your site.

DSBA affiliated links:

City of Flint - Official Site for Flint, Michigan.

Flint Downtown Development Authority.

Greater Flint Arts Council.

Flint Area Convention and Visitors Bureau.

What's Up Downtown

Web Site http://flint-dsba.com

Sponsored by: Carriage Town Media Flint

https://sites.google.com/site/carragetownmedia/
Advertising campaigns, social Media Marketing Systems and Management including web development for facebook, linkedin, myspace, google adword, and lots more!